Today is my last post here. If you want to follow my journey, though not much of a journey, you can find me at 
https://griefamothersjourney.weebly.com/

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I'm not sure how to start this one. I've recently been accused of being selfish and not thinking of my other children and not working through my grief. They don't know i'm going to counseling because i've been silent until now. So for now on, i will be putting my smile on, pretending all is well inside my head and not show outward signs of Grief. i've taken myself out of the fb groups for grieving parents and refuse to post anymore about my pain, save for today.

I will say this, until you have...
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I've been up searching for you all night. I searched Australia. I searched greece, I searched California. I searched Kaidyns school. I looked everywhere. You weren't there. You just were not there. 
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Another Halloween has come and gone. another holiday under my belt with out you. its not the same. seems like you were the glue that held us together. It was not me at all. or if it was i've lost my way. Kaidyn got her braces off yesterday. did you see that smile all the way in heaven? your son turns 9 next month. another birthday without mom.  i cant stop crying. Kaidyn is so over protective of Bailey boo. you should see how good both kids are with her. you should be here. you should be maki...
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